maritagium

Latin marītus (married, a husband) may connect to the Proto-Indo-European root *mari-, meaning 'young woman.' If this etymology is correct, a marītus is 'one who has a young woman' — the husband defined by possession of the bride. Old French mariage entered English in the fourteenth century, and the word named both the ceremony and the ongoing state. The ambiguity persists: 'a happy marriage' can mean a good wedding or a good relationship.

Marriage was a property arrangement for most of recorded history. Roman conubium (the right of marriage) was legally restricted by class and citizenship. Medieval European marriages were contracts between families — the couple's consent was secondary. The Catholic Church gradually asserted control over marriage between the twelfth and sixteenth centuries, requiring consent, witnesses, and church blessing. The Council of Trent (1563) made church weddings mandatory for Catholics.

The idea that marriage should be based on love is remarkably recent. Stephanie Coontz's Marriage, a History (2005) documents that love-based marriage became the Western norm only in the late eighteenth century. Before that, marrying for love was considered reckless and irresponsible — like investing your life savings based on a feeling. The word 'marriage' predates the love requirement by centuries.

Same-sex marriage, legalized in the Netherlands in 2001 and in the United States in 2015, expanded the word without changing it. The legal structure — two people entering a contract recognized by the state — is the same. The gender requirement was the change. The word 'marriage' absorbed the expansion as it has absorbed every previous redefinition: from property transfer to sacrament to love match to legal equality. The word is more flexible than the institution.